The Incurable Humanist's Holiday Gift Guide

2025-12-02 · 8 min read

My dearest incurable humanist, Somehow we’ve arrived at the edge of the calendar again, the season of lights, gatherings, food, and “what on earth do I get people?” panic. I know the feeling. But over the years, I’ve transformed gift-giving from a source of anxiety into something of an art form.…

My dearest incurable humanist,

Somehow we’ve arrived at the edge of the calendar again, the season of lights, gatherings, food, and “what on earth do I get people?” panic. I know the feeling. But over the years, I’ve transformed gift-giving from a source of anxiety into something of an art form. Friends now regularly seek my counsel when facing their own present predicaments, so this year I’ve compiled proven tips and gift ideas. Granted, I can’t take credit for all of this; most of these tricks I learned from my mom and my grandma.

TIPS

  • Really think about the person. What are they like? What hobbies do they have? What’s their routine/lifestyle like?

  • Resist assumptions. Yes, they’re 30-something. Yes, they work in tech. No, that doesn’t mean they want the META Ray-Bans.

  • When in doubt, ask. Their partner, their best friend, their parents.

  • Listen. People drop breadcrumbs about their desires all the time, often without realizing it. A few years ago, I mentioned to my husband (then my boyfriend) that I had a dream of having a wine fridge. My birthday arrived, and there it was! Not exactly what I’d imagined as a birthday gift, perhaps, but he’d been paying attention. That matters more!

  • Give what they wouldn’t buy themselves. The sweet spot often lies in the small luxury, the thing they’ve talked themselves out of buying a dozen times.

  • Above all, enjoy the process! Have fun!

GIFT IDEAS

  1. For the person who wants to journal

    The Book of Alchemy: A Creative Practice for an Inspired Life by Suleika Jaouad

    Journaling is having a renaissance. Chances are you’re journaling, or you know someone who is, or you’ve at least pretended to for the aesthetic. But beginning can feel intimidating; what do you even write about?

    Granted, I might be biased because I am a big fan, but this book is truly special. Having kept journals since childhood, Suleika knows the page as a survival tool, a witness, a companion through illness, grief, reinvention, and joy.

    Her book gathers essays and creative prompts from artists, writers, and thinkers. It’s arranged around different themes. It is a resource for anyone interested in journaling, whether experienced or just beginning.

    I’ve already gifted it to my mom and one of my best friends, and they both LOVED it. Consider this your green light.

    She also released a companion Alchemy Journal, which I don’t own yet, but it’s on my list. If you want a beautiful two-part gift, this is it.

  2. Personalized Stationery

    My mom always taught me that when you’re invited somewhere or given a gift, you respond with a thank-you note. This has somewhat been lost; we now only send a polite text. But it’s not the same! We should bring this back, and honestly, there’s nothing prettier than personalized stationery. It’s the perfect gift for your mom, your mother-in-law, grandma, aunt, or that friend with an old soul.

    Some favorites: Papier, Alissa Bell, Haute Papier

  3. A membership!

    To me, the ultimate gift will always be a museum membership. I’m a proud member of The Met and MoMA, and nothing makes me happier than being able to walk in anytime and preview shows. I really want the Frick membership too! The Whitney is a great one as well. But let’s be honest, not everyone likes the idea of going more than once a year to a museum. So, circling back to my tips above, if your gift recipient is decidedly not a museum person, then this might not be the best idea. Nevertheless, the underlying principle still stands: get them a membership to something they do love. Maybe they’re into the gym, so get them that gym membership, or Pilates, or they love movies, so an AMC membership... You get the idea!

  1. Anything from the MoMA Design Store

    This is the cure for gift-giver’s block. The MoMA Design Store has everything from sculptural home objects to playful tech, beautiful textiles, clever kitchenware, and things you didn’t know existed but now desperately need. It’s always conversation-starting.

    BTW. Even if you don’t live in New York, you can still order online.

  2. On a Budget

    Let’s face it, we can’t always be gifting museum memberships to everyone on our list. But a smaller budget doesn’t mean a meaningless present. These feel special without breaking the bank:

    Williams Sonoma Peppermint Bark - ($34.95) One of my favorite holiday treats (and I don’t even like white chocolate). It’s become a holiday classic for a reason, and the tin is pretty enough to keep.

    Le Creuset Mini Cocotte (8 oz.) - ($21.95) All the charm of Le Creuset at a fraction of the price. Perfect for serving dips, dessert, or just sitting beautifully on a shelf. The Artichaut (artichoke green) color is particularly gorgeous.

    L’Occitane Almond Ornament Set - ($20.00) This comes pre-assembled in a gift box, so it looks like you put in way more effort than you did. The almond scent is cozy without, and the mini sizes are perfect for travel.

    Anthropologie Daily Stripe Mug - ($14.00) Because a really good mug is essential. Anthropologie has a great selection. The hand-painted stripes make each one unique, and at this price point, you could gift a set of two or three.

    The secret to budget gifting is to choose one thing over several mediocre things.

  1. The host/hostess gift

    It’s the holidays, which means house gatherings, dinner parties. Another one of my mom’s lessons is to never show up empty-handed. A bottle of wine is always safe, but if you want to be a little more thoughtful:

    Candles - On the luxurious end, there’s the Diptyque Holiday Edition Set of five miniature candles. But honestly, even a candle from Target works. The key is choosing something that looks intentional, not last-minute (even if it is).

    Fresh flowers - feels personal and supports small businesses.

    Pastries from a local bakery - Show up with a box of cookies, cupcakes, pie, or whatever specialty the neighborhood bakery does best.

  1. A calendar for 2026

    This might sound boring at first, but hear me out. In my family, we have a tradition of gifting each other next year’s calendars based on themes we love, and it’s become one of my favorite gifts to both give and receive.

    The key is making it personal. If they love art, get them the Page-A-Day Gallery Calendar—365 days of paintings, drawings, and sculptures. If they’re into dogs, find the specific breed calendar. Obsessed with national parks? There’s one for that. What makes this work is that it’s both practical and thoughtful. They’ll use it all year long, and every time they flip the page or tear off a new day, they’ll think of you. Calendars are affordable, easy to ship, and there’s a theme for absolutely everyone. Just make sure you’re getting 2026, not 2025!

  2. Books!

    Books are an ageless gift. You can buy anything from a coffee table book that sparks conversation, a recent memoir or novel you can’t stop thinking about, a rare edition of their favorite book, to a signed copy.

    I always gift books to my 3-year-old nephew, and he genuinely gets excited. I recently gave him Spaghetti! - (Cook in a Book) by Lotta Nieminen. It’s interactive, beautifully designed, and so fun that he later made the pasta with his mom.

    The trick with book gifting is to be specific. Don’t just grab a bestseller. A well-chosen book shows you pay attention. Include a handwritten note on the inside cover explaining why you picked it for them.

  3. For the one who’s grieving

    The holidays can be unbearably hard when you’re grieving. While everyone else is celebrating, you’re just trying to get through it. If someone you love is navigating loss this season, your gift can be an acknowledgment that you see them, even in their pain.

    The Book of Stories - This is a beautiful, gentle way to honor someone’s memory. It’s a guided journal that helps preserve stories, memories, and details about a loved one who has passed away.

    A framed photo - Choose a photo of them with the person they lost.

    Quality time - Even if you’re far apart, a long phone call where you just listen can mean everything. You don’t need to have the right words (there aren’t any). You just need to show up. Let them talk about their person, or say nothing at all. Your presence is the gift.

    The key with grief gifts is to resist the urge to cheer up.

  4. For the one who’s far away

    Distance requires a little more creativity. The goal is to remind them you’re thinking of them despite the miles.

    A long phone call - Honestly, sometimes the best gift is just your undivided attention. Set aside real time. Schedule it beforehand. Light a candle, pour some wine, settle in.

    A shared Spotify playlist - Curate songs that remind you of them or tracks you think they’d love right now. It’s personal, and it’s free.

    Send them a meal - Use Postmates, Grubhub, or whatever works in their city and surprise them with dinner, their favorite coffee order, or dessert.

    Something easy to ship - Most of the gifts in this guide can be ordered online and sent directly to their address. Books, candles, stationery, and that Le Creuset mini cocotte. Include a handwritten note (even if you have to mail it separately) to make it feel less transactional.

    May your gifting season be merry, exciting, and most importantly, stress-free!

    Until next week.